Controlling that Monkey Mind – My work is never done!!

*CLICK* the page on your computer displays a congratulations for booking that holiday you’ve been working to fund. You’ve picked a fabulous destination and you’ve already started manifesting your excitement even though it’s months away. It is possible that you have compiled a stack of expectations piled neatly in the back of your mind as you fantasize and daydream. Or you may have allowed your mind to conjure up wild scenarios of upmost splendor; and in fact if your brain had taste buds it would be salivating at the very thought of your upcoming trip like brain taste-bud tantalization. Alternatively you may be scared to travel, it might be a new destination in which you feel vulnerable and out of your comfort zone and all you can feel is overwhelming anxiety.

Wherever you are on the scale, it is very probable that you have created some expectations. To me these expectations present themselves as daydreaming and day-nightmaring, (Daymaring). They are wonderful and toxic, a blessing and a curse if you will; they are like whirlwinds of lunacy which, are hard to control and easy to fall into. The reality is many people are plagued with overthinking premeditated positive and negative thoughts related to even the tiniest physical or mental activities and in response they have to work hard to balance the scales for a chance to feel more centered. The story below once again shows how my monkey mind likes to take control and I hope some of you identify with it.

Before our trip

On reflection the picture I had masterfully created in my mind of Myanmar was based solely on information I had unknowingly memorized from the lonely planet guidebook, which I had read endlessly and of course instantly worried about. I knew the history of the country; how I should present myself as a female by covering up when out and about; so I had expectations imbedded there and I knew basic Burmese how to say Hello, Goodbye and Thankyou. But the shreds of information I had retained didn’t include what the country looks like or how people behave, and I hadn’t gained any foresight into the full picture. Ironically I know the snake population, of all the things I could have memorised!! The words had sunk in the minute I read them…

‘One of the largest populations of venomous snake in Asia’

With 140 species and 40 venomous and potentially life threatening, I knew the odds and had decided to treat any snakebite as venomous. I had played it through in my mind time and time again so I knew how to cope in a situation involving snakes but as you can imagine I was a little unsettled by the potential eventualities. There were many other things I had begun to worry about too as you’ll soon find out!

Our first steps in Myanmar

I was out of my depth, as we walked through airport security! I felt vulnerable again and the furthest I had ever been from my comfort zone so far on our travels. In contrast to the Military uniforms and unanimated expressions we often face in Thailand, and the menacingly grumpy Balinese we had tried to charm in Indonesia, and similarly the straight faced New Zealand officers we had encountered in Auckland; the Burmese were dressed in every day clothes and looked more approachable. To the left of me James is having a good old chit-chat to his security lady whilst handing over his passport and visa; so feeling curious I take a step forward ready to use the same tactic. I smile brightly whilst stuttering Hello in Burmese but before I finish the lady throws her hand towards me for my passport and looks utterly disappointed by my greeting. With a simple sigh I accept she’s probably seen a lot of people and may have had enough for one day, so I quickly move on. To make things more uncomfortable, out of the corner of my eye I can see James sauntering away from his desk with a victorious smile on his face and saying “what a lovely lady” and reciting “Min-ga-lar-bar and Ja-zu-bar” Hello and Thank you in Burmese! I can’t help but feel even more nervous. James continues to kiss me on the head and we notice the airport isn’t too busy and so we quickly maneuver our way through and hop into a taxi to our hostel ‘Little Monkey’.

With a reasonable pull the door slides open to Little Monkey Hostel. A familiar smell greets my nostrils almost instantly, ‘the formidable Durian fruit!’ With it’s ugly spikey exterior and pungent vomit smell I’d say it’s one fruit most westerners tend to avoid. One review by writer Joseph Stromberg compared it to turpentine and onions, garnished with a well-used gym sock! Nevertheless many people taste and enjoy the mix of sweet, savory and creamy all at once. It’s ready and waiting for those who muster the confidence to give it a try, if you can get over the aforementioned obstacles that is.

Desperate to get away from the stench that quite frankly if allowed to permeate our nostrils for any length of time could wipe out all traces of nasal hair; therefore assuring the collapse of the important job they have in keeping a perfect balance of warmth and moisture for a healthy respiratory system. Our only option is to escape onto the streets of Yangon city. The air is hot and smokey and there are remnants of a substance called betel nut all over the concrete, it’s bright red colour is hard to miss and a little monstrous as we realize its been chewed until it can’t been chewed any longer and then spat onto the floor by the locals. I have a sense that we’re being watched and with every corner we take it’s clear we stick out like a couple of ‘Organic Strawberries from Waitrose’ on a farm of ‘Durian fruit trees’. We’re faced with jaw dropping stares and endless camera phones pointing in our direction as the locals film us walking past.

The city feels vast; tall terraced blocks soar above us grey and dirty but with boisterously coulourful window frames and most notably looking as if they need a good scrub. You can tell the buildings here date back to British rule and we can’t help but shudder at the thought of the terror the British bought to this country. The citizens move around using umbrellas as a shield from the sun, which continues to emanate heat quite similarly to that of an enormous oven. As we walk along the pavements there are holes big enough to fall into and the cracks in the concrete ready to become holes. The roads are filled with stalls selling fruit, vegetables, street food, Burmese delicacies and all manner of collectables from books and coins to gold and gemstones. I feel uneasy to say the least and I’m not entirely sure Yangon is the place for me.

It’s two days on and we’re in the presence of our new friend Roger Long, a local entrepreneur. I feel more at ease in Roger’s company; his mannerisms are interesting and whimsical as he excitedly reveals ideas for his newest adventure ‘The Myanmar Amber Museum’. “My wish for the project is to educate the youth in Yangon and eventually further afield about the importance of Burmite” Roger expresses while taking out a large piece of amber and showing us the exceptional inclusions perfectly restored and frozen in time. The colour is bright and clear and holds power over us as it captivates our minds. We imagine the happenings at the time these specimens were caught in the tree resin, which eventually hardened and turned into this particular piece of amber. “Imagine 99 million years ago” James exclaims excitedly, “Dinosaurs!” “Gah!” the excitement continues to grow and flow through both James and Roger as they look at different pieces of amber through a loop. Roger continues to tell us more about his way of life as a semi retired traveller and ideas for the future, which resonate with me quite profoundly and ironically make me feel more at ease. A change was beginning to ripple through me and I could feel myself becoming more relaxed with every piece of information Roger was giving us. Anything from how to survive the markets to getting around Myanmar, he was telling us all he knew and it made me realize how much I needed to “Just Go With It”. I started to feel excited about our next stop, ‘Bagan’ even though it was days away; most importantly my feelings about Yangon had begun to transform, I had accepted the perpetual nervous and anxious feelings which, now were only washing over me in ripples rather than gigantic waves.

So, on our arrival into Myanmar I felt suffocated, anxious and out of control. Everything from the smell of Durian fruit to the dirty exterior of the buildings, the terrifying thought of getting bitten by a snake and that feeling of being watched had all masterfully clogged up my mind and had taunted me. All we needed to do was propose some changes; slowly by finding a different hostel, who thankfully had banned durian fruit from the premises; a plant based café became our chill out zone; the gym at Hotel G became our playground for handstands and working out and of course Roger our newest friend and mentor had taken us under his wing and helped us plan our next stop.

During our time in Yangon I truly learnt the power of one positive decision and its ability to spiral onto the next one and alter the course of any experience, whether it’s a holiday, a day out or just your normal daily activities. Your reality shifts very profoundly when you turn negativity into positivity and you tend to see things differently. Finally it’s that monkey mind that you need to be aware of… controlling it can be impossible so one way to help manage it a little better is to realise your ability to change things yourself. Each of us can change our own minds if we give enough time and effort. Although at times its a hard feat, the potential result of feeling better for longer far out weigh the effort. Take one annoyance at a time and attempt to change your attitude around it, each one you change relieves a bit of pressure and rewarding you with what feels like extra space.

I have to say Myanmar has to have been one of my favourite countries so far, and although I dwelled on the more problematic aspects I faced mentally; in reality there are some beautiful buildings, parks and temples which were absolutely out of this world. As you can imagine James is dreaming of coming back and has already started hatching a plan to come back as part of our next adventure and he never faltered on the idea that our time there would be amazing. He grounded me and eventually helped me get over my anxieties, “True acts of Husbandship”.

“Don’t let those bantering negative thoughts and expectations stop you in your tracks… Challenge them to the ends of the earth!!

Thanks for reading

Peaches xxxx

Check out Roger’s amber museum https://www.myanmarambermuseum.org