I apologise for the dreary start to this blog, but I promise I’m going somewhere with it so just stick it out until the end, maybe grab a coffee, tea or even a cheeky glass of vino to lighten the mood :-)! Some of you may relate to some of it.

I’m feeling a little on edge and here’s why; there was a time in my life where habit and control had taken over, where my whole being was in an all–consuming dismal cloud of toxicity (and some of you will know to which cloud I’m speaking of). It all sounds a bit over the top I know, but at that particular time I needed to initiate a shift. A shift that would require me to challenge my over zealous habits and ideas that I had very neatly refined from years gone by.

Going back five years , I had left the UK to get far, far away. My expectations were high; a grass is greener on the other side kind of high. Of course conceptually this was all wrong, and as Ross from Friends would say “A load of Boo-Hockey”. I seemed to think that some sort of electro-magnetic force would pulse through me creating a sudden charge of energy like “that light bulb moment”. Much to my dismay there were no light bulbs and I came home never wanting to go travelling again and hurt by my ability to almost self-destruct.

At this point the dialogue in my head could easily replicate the high-pitched melodies orchestrated by insects in the trees. Although beautiful they seem to all perform at the same time inevitably overwhelming your ears with a kind of over-stimulated vibration, making it nigh on impossible to focus on any particular call. In this instance each sound is a different thought in your mind, and they battle it out for the optimum seat in your mind much like politicians in parliament. Churning, swirling circles of worry congregate in a complex maze of confusion as the battle proceeds; and whoever wins gets the prize for single handedly putting you into a state of exhaustion.

Everyone has different ways of dealing with this orchestration of noise, which is generally referred to as stress. Gurus might tell you that meditation and yoga can settle your mind whilst others will use exercise; or simply sitting down quietly to read a book, any of these could conquer the unwanted attention on any boisterous concepts. The list is endless when it comes to learning how best to quiet the mind. But most importantly the magic surely comes when you can really feel your body, mind and soul connecting as one. Tipping the balance in one will profoundly affect the other two.

Would you believe I’m a bit wiser now, my expectations are grounded in the idea that I have the power to manifest change; and by this I mean nothing will change around you with a single devoid wish, as the world will continue to go round and around no matter what. But your ability to react appropriately to your senses; sight, touch, taste, noise and smell whether we’re talking about people or the surrounding environment; this is where exponential change is possible especially when challenging thought processes arise. This thought pattern is not exhaustive to challenging the negative it can inevitably enforce the positive too.

How does any of this affect our experience in Ao-Nang? – The sole purpose for me writing about the shift is because I see how my relationship and previous experiences with this undoubtedly beautiful seaside destination could taint all my future visits. I have seen the same set of cognitive thought processes complicate other experiences in my life. I’m using Ao-Nang to explain as I am here now so it seems like a logical choice :-)! How have I transformed my thinking to make this experience into a positive.

In the past five years Ao-Nang has become a hub for families to enjoy a relaxing tropical getaway. It’s gone from toddler to teenager in a flash, the buildings are orderly, some made of glass and some concrete, and they stand tall where the old higgledy-piggledy wooden shacks that used to represent this backpacker, rock-climbing destination. A positive to this change is that the grand smell of sewage has significantly died down. A negative is that the lush jungle that stood there only a couple of years previous has somewhat thinned out. But still Ao Nang is like a home from home, especially for James!! (Which may or may not surprise you). Imagine long stretches of white sandy beach fringed with tropical jungle; long-tail boats elegantly crafted by local Thai’s and ready to ferry you from shore to shore of the many scenic coves surrounding Ao-nang. Luscious green trees stand tall poised along the promenade; massage outlets line up just a little way back from the sand, and colourful bars lure you in with their rum coconuts and incredibly cheap beer.

You’ve got all bases covered here, a nice walk along the grainy sand aiding a more bohemian style of foot scrub. You might like to try your hand at haggling with the shop owners along the stretch for a snazzy pair of Haviainas, Ray-Bans or any other named brand you’ve been dying to get your hands on. Following this, a massage by one of the many therapists that will either leave you melting into the ground as you fall into a delicate sleep, or perhaps you might be tempted by the popular full body trampling, causing you to flinch at every movement and occasionally allowing you to experience a feeling of suffocation. However, whether you’ve been casually crushed or pampered into a false sense of security, you’re bound to find your happy place at a bar; and this will either ease your pain or send you directly into that deep slumber already induced by your massage.

I light heartedly ask myself how I ended up here again… The answer of course is every year James looks at me with his big green-brown eyes and undoubtedly hypnotizes me into a state of semi-consciousness, with an added sense of security. Some may say he’s a bit cheeky!! I follow him all the way to Ao-Nang once again like a little mouse with my large backpack; close on his heels, eyes wide open in the hope that I will experience something different and ultimately spectacular. It’s like the saying goes, “Doing the same old thing and expecting a different result”. Einstein was right it’s completely insane to believe that something will change if you’re always following the same old steps. But with my new tool box of glossy gadgets that I can call upon I am slowly changing and challenging each one of my previous philosophies. It is after all a beautiful seaside town and super chilled. I guess you could say I’ve come full circle, I’m beginning to really love it here.

A big part of my growing admiration for Ao-Nang this year was seeing my brother in law Ralph (James’s Brother) and his partner in crime, and lovely girlfriend Autumn. We joked, laughed, danced, consumed many units of alcohol. Myself and Autumn have also come to know each other as Soul Sista’s, after one memorable night of several vodka shooters, crazy dancing and a quick visit to Ao-Nangs only nightclub “Chang Bar”. We all seemed very comfortable in each others company and it was a pleasure to spend time with these guys. Living proof that the people you surround yourself with can affect your overall experience and you have the ability to change who and what you surround yourself with at any given time if you catch my drift.

We also found our groove at a local eatery called “Buzz”. It caters for everyone, from meat eaters to vegan and you can’t really go wrong. The “Real-Buzz” in this little café is ‘Maya’, the South-African owner who we’ve become very well acquainted. The food here is awesome and taking a walk to Buzz each day has settled itself nicely into the healthiest part of our routine here in Ao-Nang.

It’s individual speculation really and it’s not by any means a new philosophy to many people. But for me now it has impacted my life quite significantly, I feel accomplished having my ideas revolve and intertwine around the idea that you cannot change a single thing around you!! Especially the people around you, they won’t change for anyone and more importantly why should they? There is some flexibility with your environment but this is very much nestled within your own proactivity to make the change in the first place. When certain ideals accumulate in your mind about what something should look, feel, taste, smell or sound like before the experience has happened whether those ideals are based on a previous experience or you simply just have certain expectations; the likelihood is you will be disappointed. Not that I’m saying you shouldn’t dream, you absolutely should, but be realisitic. It is very limiting and quite soul destroying if you dwell on the negatives if ‘It wasn’t what you thought it would be’. So in this ever-changing world in which we live in (Yep that’s right I just quoted Paul McCartney) take one step at a time, don’t expect too much from other people and always soak up every ounce of the environment and appreciate

Thanks for reading folks

Peaches xx